The Russians did it

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- Have you seen of the Russians with your own eyes? - asked young guy with curly black hairstyle.

- Wherefrom, lad? Never. Only in different movies. So, would you like to say that you've seen them?

- One time we watched a barred movie and I can say...

- Don't joke with the destiny, dear Patrick! - the fat driver in checkered shirt, as an older, friendly gave the advice to his young passenger - please, leave a place in the prison for the Russian.

- These is a good citate! So in that video there was one Russian...

- Good, and so what?

- Nothing, simply he wasn't similar on that creatures, which we see in the cinema. He didn't have any horns and hooves. He even skilled to speak!

- Bullshit, no matter, certainly there was any human. Hear, was a case, even before you in my auto service some Russians several times did attempt to elude of taxes! At the same time revenue from their tricks they deposited on my account.

- Are you seriously?

- Quite. But the Court firmly said: 'You, Harry Joseph Coleman, are innocent. In your griefs are blame the Russians'.

- What you think - what for all this to them?

- I don't know. By my opinion they just want to do an evil. They are mad men!For instance, yesterday I heard our President-woman on the democratic channel. So she speak that we are the Goodness and Light, but the Russians are an evil and darkness. She repeated such thought fifteen times. Not fourteen as by past time, but fifteen! Why we must not trust her?

- Maybe, though...

But Patrick couldn't to end his phrase. A blurred silhouette rushly flashed in the headlights, a thud blow rang out ahead and something heavy fell on the bonnet. Coleman pressed on the brake, auto instantly stopped and heavy dark object slipped from the bonnet back in the shadow. Coleman and Patrick scared looked at each other and got out from the car. Heaven were purely, the wet asphalt did shine under the big clearly Moon.

- It is Frank, - told Coleman after he bent over motionless body. He is my neighbor farmer and live here, not far. But what he did here by this time?

- Is he live? - weakly asked Patric without getting closer.

- Seems no. But how the Russians lured him on the highway and knocked to death? - told out Coleman thoughtfully on the path to his car, - Damn! These Russians bastards else dented my car!

Patrick took out his phone and dialed a number.

- Where you calling? - barked Coleman.

- To the police.

- Call Russians Trapping Service. Urgently!

- But I think firstly we must call police.

- Oh, God, Patric, what are you talking about? The Police are disbanded. Besides, who do you think could have committed this atrocity? - angry Coleman pointed at motionless body, - Me? Or maybe you want me send to prison instead of russian?

- Oh, no! Of course, not, Harry!

- Then immediately call to Russians Trapping Service of Government! - Coleman said sharply.

Patrick stepped aside and put the phone to the ear fearfully squinting to his boss.

- Is it Police? - Patrick just managed to whisper in mobile phone when his back head was received of a strongest blow of huge adjustable wrench.

The young man lifeless fell on the asphalt, but Coleman a long time continued to hit his new worker on the head in the light of headlights.

The moonlight kept flooding the road.

- No, no! - Coleman shauted. - Russians! What for you kill him? What you do, russians?! Why so cruelly you eliminate your spy?

Harry Coleman came home late after midnight.

- Oh, Harry! - screamed in horror his wife seeing him covered in blood from head to toe - My dear, what happened? I tried to call you, but couldn't. And where's your new mechanic you invited to dinner?

- Lots of questions, Nancy, - Harry grumbled as he took off his shirt - Russians, russians! They are everywhere! They hit Frank and then killed Patrick!

- Terrible nightmare!

- Oh, yes, but there I called the Russians Trapping Service. Thank Heaven they arrived and immediately figured it out, only just not clear what Frank was doing at that time on the road.

- Oh, dear... - Nancy lowered her gaze shyly.

- What else?! - Coleman frowned.

- He was coming from me... - started to tell wife, - You see, he came here for some kind of instrument, and then the russians made us... You understand?

Coleman's breath caught in his throat, he sat down on the old sofa before a working TV. There the President-woman was performing in front of microphones. Now she repeated sixteen times that we are the Light and the Good, but Russians are the darkness and the evil. Coleman slowly looked up on the screen, then several minutes stared on it blankly. Finally, he hit his knee hard by his fist.

- How? - he exclaimed, - And how can one not believe all this after all the horrors that the Russians are doing to us?! 

* * *

Alexander Subbotin <translated by B.Bepeck>

«36-я бригада морской пехоты ВСУ переходит на сторону России»
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  • Oh, those Russians!!!
  • I've been reading for an hour.)))
  • :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :joy: :joy: :joy: :joy: This is a masterpiece!!
  • :anguished: шо?
  • Кузьмич. - Чего? Ты что, финский усвоил? - Какой финский? Он же по-фински говорит. - Кто по-фински говорит? Он же финн. Кто финн? Я!